Tears Of Joy
(Posted on: September 22, 2013 by David McMillin)
Then finally there is the passing into the presence of that which may materialize in voice, feeling, sight, and a consciousness of oneness with the Whole. (A Search For God, Book I, Meditation, p. 13)
This quote describes the final phase of meditative experience culminating in the experience of God’s presence. Of course, there are many ways to come into the presence of God, as we have seen in the video overview for this lesson. Some are structured (as in regular meditation) while others less structured but intentional (as in service to others).
Then there are the completely spontaneous experiences of mystical union with God that seemingly come out of nowhere. When these happen, they can be almost overwhelming in terms of joy. So much so, that usually I find myself crying TEARS OF JOY. Here are a couple of examples.
Driving Down Interstate 264
In 1990 I had just moved to Virginia Beach and was doing some research at the A.R.E. Library. I had been studying mysticism and in particular a phenomenon called “shaktipat” whereby raised lifeforce energy (i.e., kundalini) can be transmitted directly from one person who has raised this energy (i.e., guru or mystic) to another (i.e., student or follower). I had experienced kundalini awakening a few years before while doing the Cayce 2AM mediation while participating in a Search For God study group, so I was familiar with the experience but not as something that is transmitted as in this yogic tradition.
Anyway, I was driving down Interstate 264 late in the morning, leaving Virginia Beach headed toward Norfolk. As I was contemplating what I had been studying and began to wonder what it might be like to experience “shaktipat” from one of the mystics I had been researching, I entered a mystical state of consciousness while driving down the mostly empty highway. Powerful emotions of peace and joy flowed through me. My awareness expanded beyond my truck – I felt connected to All That Is – Oneness with the Whole that is God. TEARS OF JOY flowed. I felt so blessed to be alive and conscious on the surface of this planet while also feeling connected to the Cosmos. This lasted for perhaps a couple of minutes at most. Yes, pretty typical stuff as far as mysticism goes, and yet a very memorable “peak experience” for me at that point on my spiritual path.
There was no conscious attempt to have this experience. I was not trying to do it. My intense study and DESIRE surely set the stage. Some of my previous experiences in mediation were probably a factor too. But essentially it came as a gift from somewhere inside – call it God, inner self, higher self … take your pick.
It did not necessarily change my life in any definite way. It reminded me that I am part of something so much bigger than my limited daily conscious experience. It was perhaps a confirmation of sorts that encouraged my creative pursuits in a certain direction (I was in the process of researching and writing several books on the Cayce approach to mental health). Surely it was blessing for which I still give thanks and remember fondly.
In early 2012 I was doing commercial building maintenance at a large shopping center near my home in Virginia Beach – sort of a glorified janitorial job that I did for a few years while coasting into retirement. I liked being outdoors, keeping physically active, starting early in the morning (6 AM), seeing sunrises and getting most of my work done before the shoppers arrived. Thanks to my iPod, I could listen to podcasts and music that I found interesting and uplifting. Mainly I worked alone, so I could also spend a lot of time thinking about the various projects I was doing – mostly multimedia work centered on the Cayce readings. Often I would use my mental time to focus on questions I had about the readings associated with specific projects. The readings insisted that the answer to any question can be obtained from within. I have found that to be true and use attunement on a daily basis. Sometimes the answer comes back immediately, but often may take an hour or two, or even a day or more later.
So it was one cool spring morning, when I began one of my least enjoyable chores, cleaning bird crap off the awnings. Pigeons roosting in the signage above the awnings could make quite a mess. As I began using a long pole and brush on an awning, listening to metaphysically oriented rock-n-roll song (Moody Blues) on my iPod, I started to get an answer to a specific question I had asked earlier that morning. When I get answers from Creative Forces, it tends to make me happy and excited, even exhilarated at times if the information is very special. And this morning the information was very special.
So there I was scrubbing a really dirty awning, the sun was just up and shining brightly on the east side of the building, like a solar furnace erasing the chill of the morning. The sky was bright blue and absolutely clear. I was getting information from within and feeling happy – and it happened!
I felt myself expand beyond my body. As I pulsated to the music, I felt myself extend out into the universe, bouncing my energy off distance stars – space is relative in such altered states. A million light years is nothing to the soul in this consciousness. There is only the Eternal Now – no time, no space – rather one time, one space. I felt so connected to the universe and that overwhelming sense of being loved by All That Is. TEARS OF JOY flowed as I continued to scrub the awning. It lasted for a couple of minutes and then back to normal consciousness – chop wood and carry water, as they say in the yogic traditions.
It wasn’t simply a matter of having a powerful experience in terms of physical sensations and altered consciousness. There was also the awareness that this had come as a result of my seeking, of my asking within for guidance and information. I knew that at some level, I was receiving a gift. But it was a response to my seeking. Receiving information and getting happy about it happens quite frequently, and I have actually come to expect to receive feedback from within when I sincerely and earnestly seek information and guidance as part of my spiritual ideal. And even though this happens regularly and I recognize it as part of my connection to the Divine within and am still filled with joy as I partake of the process, it usually is still just a normal part of my life – what the readings call the “abiding presence of God.” I think of it as being an “everyday mystic.”
But the TEARS OF JOY take it to another level. The emotional and sensory components, in conjunction with the spontaneity and surprise make it very special indeed. May you experience your own TEARS OF JOY!
I have never used “mind-altering drugs” of any kind (and hardly any medicinal drugs, for that matter).